Well, actually by Bonny. :p
They wanted to use our testimonial in a newsletter. It took a lot of editing to get it down to size. Ya'll probably don't care, but here's what a "woman's" touch can do.We aren't going to lie to you. Adoption is a rollercoaster. And as you head towards the lowest lows, you will feel your stomach drop. It will hurt. But, it’s worth it.
We had always considered adoption a viable option. However, adoption was not on the forefront of our mind until we go the news that we would never conceive a child. It hurt to get that news, to have to go through tests and surgeries, to wait for results, to be told maybe time after time, just to told, finally, no. But that low didn’t last long. We searched out several adoption agencies and settled on Inheritance.
Things went on hold for a while. There were applications to be filled out, inspections to be performed, etc. We were coasting. Then suddenly our emotional rollercoaster was headed up again. A birthmother wanted to meet with us. Our meeting was a success. We clicked. This time coasting was a little less easy. We didn’t know if the birthmother was meeting with other couples or if we would defiantly be picked. The anticipation was palpable.
Finally, we heard ‘yes’ and bought a new camera the same day. The anticipation welled. Finally, we got a call. The birthmother was in labor. We had been told that she wanted us to wait to pick up the baby until the two days had passed. We didn’t get a lot of work done those two days.
About 1pm on the second day, Justin received a call at work. It was mere hours before we were to pack up and head to Wichita Falls to get a beautiful baby girl. The birthmother had left the hospital, with the baby, and hadn’t even told the agency. It was like a punch in the stomach, but think about that when we tell you, that wasn’t our lowest low. Justin went home early that day. That is not the kind of news you tell your wife over the phone. A lot of tears were shed, but our prayers and family lifted us out of that low.
About a week later, we got a call at home. The agency wanted to know if we were ready to speak with a new birthmother. We steadied ourselves for another set of hills and valleys, and said yes.
Circumstances led to us meeting with this new birth mother only a few weeks before she was due. The meeting went even better than the first one. While we felt more confident, we tried to remember that we couldn’t be sure of thing just yet.
This birthmother wanted us at the hospital when she went into labor. Luckily, for us, living a couple of hours away, she was to be induced. After a false alarm and a few tense days of waiting, we got the call. She had been induced.
We packed up our stuff, and headed to Wichita Falls. The birthmother even let Bonny be in the delivery room. It really didn’t feel real yet, but soon. At six twenty-seven that evening, there was a brand spanking new baby boy. This was so wonderful. We were both there getting to hold him just after he was born. We were on cloud nine. Still, we had not reached our highest high, or our lowest low.
We were there as he got his shots, tests and very first bath. Then something happened that we didn’t expect. The birthmother wanted us to have the baby then. We escorted her to her room and went to the hospitality room we were staying in with the baby. We didn’t dare use the name we had chosen yet, still too afraid of what could happen.
That night was a long night, but it was a good night. The next morning he was scheduled to be circumcised. Afterward, the birthmother wanted to spend time with him. A few hours later Bonny and I stopped by to visit them. The birthgrandmother was going to be coming by soon and wanted some time with the baby also, so we headed back to the hospitality room and waited. It was a lot longer than we thought it would be, and felt even longer than it was. We can’t lie; we worried heavily they would not be bringing him back, but at ten thirty at night they showed up and there were hugs all around. They checked out and headed home.
We weren’t allowed to go home quite yet. Two days had to pass before the birthmother could sign the paper work, so we spent the night in a hospitality hotel next to the hospital.
That was a good day. We spent the whole day with him minus Justin’s Wal-Mart run for food and supplies. Justin got to email some photos to our parents. The birthgrandfather wanted his turn to visit with the baby, so we packed up a small diaper bag and anxiously let him go.
Mid-afternoon, we got a call. Things were going bad. The birthmother wasn’t ready to sign. We were beginning to panic, but she and her family agreed to meet and discuss. After things calmed down she agreed to sign. While the birthgrandfather got his visit with the baby, we headed to the hospitality hotel to check out. When we got back to the agency, things had gone downhill again. The baby was to be placed in foster care until things were decided. One of our lowest low was our empty car seat being returned to us holding only a slightly used diaper bag.
We drove back home that night to our mothers, who were waiting to see their new grandchild. It’s good they were there. We would have given anything not to have had to go to work that Monday. Our next call from the agency was our worst. The birthmother had decided to keep the baby.
The next day was interminable. We couldn’t think about anything but the baby. Then we got yet another call. The birthmother had changed her mind again. We didn’t dare get our hopes up, but it was impossible not to. We couldn’t take seeing the baby again, if it wasn’t to be, so we didn’t leave home until everything was signed.
It was to be. He was even more beautiful than ever. We doubled two cell phone bills that day. This was our highest high. As hard as it was to go to work when we thought we weren’t getting him, it was so much harder for Justin to go to work that next day. It’s hard to leave with those big beautiful eyes looking back at you.
We named him Jason. He turned one month old the other day. It already seems like time is flying by. We wish we could capture every moment. Some people say that adopting a child isn’t the same. That’s nonsense. God creates us all. The feeling that elates you is viewing that new life. Looking at that fearfully and wonderfully made little man. Watching the wide eyed wonder through which he sees everything. We don’t understand it. Why do we feel so strongly for a child we just met? But, we do. We feel so strongly that we would do anything to protect him, to help him, to serve him, to be with him … anything.
It’s all worth it.
