Monday, October 31, 2005

Well, she kept it...

Is there really anything else to say?

There's plenty more I want to say...but nothing that I will.

Bleh

Do I have to go to work today?

I'm so tired.

And people are going to want to talk to me...

Bleh.

"Looks like I picked a bad day to stop sniffing glue."

Sunday, October 30, 2005

as hell?

Well, I'm sorry I haven't posted as soon as I meant to, but I've been depressed as hell. Yes, as hell. I'm not cussing. I firmly believe this is a taste of the sorrow one must feel if they go to hell; the despair, the depression. Just the thought that I would have this feeling (no burning, tourture, whatever, just this feeling) for eternity is enough to make me want to avoid hell.

Everything is on hold. We had the baby for two days. But circumstances (that I really can't go into on this forum) have made it where the signing is postponed indefinitely. Currently, the baby has been put in foster care. We are not licenced to be foster parents, so where not allowed to keep it. We are back home now. We have some family here, and we're trying to cope.

Just to be clear, the birthmother has not taken back the child. It is up in the air. She may decide to go through with it, she may not...it's all on hold.

I don't think this is really applicable, but I needed something to lighten my mood.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Out of the Hospital, Into the Hotel

Five fifty-five in the AM. Normally I would consider this an atrocious time, but considering I just got a rousing 5 hours of sleep. I'm doing pretty good.
I'm not sure what is posted, since the cyber-nanny style firewall is blocking blogger.com. Probably pinging off some porn blog. At any rate, he was released from the hospital about 10:40pm last night. He is a very calm baby. If he cries, he actually has a reason. I'm just starting to get a feel for the different styles of crying he has. He's very alert. He has pretty strong neck muscles, and cranes around to get a better look at ya, occasionally. He's got the concept of eyes down pat. The first night, I was on baby duty. I was in a hospital bed, in a courtesy room, and he was in a bassinet beside me. If he wanted something, he would stare at me. When I opened my eyes he would start into the crying. Again, he was crying for something legitimate; food, diaper, burping ... something. But he wouldn't bother unless my eyes were open.
I couldn't sleep though, so my eyes were open a lot. I only got about 2 hours that night.
Today, we are in a courtesy hotel near the hospital. Bonny had duty tonight, but I doubt either of us are going to get sleep for a while. He seems to think 5:30 AM is the time the day should begin. The hotel is pretty nice. They have some weird rules, because they are trying to get costs down. For instance, you can't eat in your room. But they have a pretty nice kitchen area we can hang out in.
Hmph, stupid security settings are so high on this computer, it won't even let me access disk drives. That includes my thumbdrive. Ah well, the lawyer says I'm not allowed to post photos right now anyhow. It's got nothing to do with the birthmother, just some weird loophole that he's trying to avoid.
Well, anyhow, we are still on pins and needles. Last night, the birthmother was spending time with the baby. It seemed like an eternity. I should have been sleeping, since it was the first chance I had where I wasn't up every half hour tending to some need. But I couldn't. My brain kept thinking, "If you go to sleep they can sneak out. Must stay alert." Which naturally makes no sense. In fact, did you know they tag babies with magnetic ankle bracelets. If you try to leave they set off alarms, like a CD at Walmart or something. Speaking of Walmart, I've got to head over there. We were burrito wrapping him, but he likes to have access to his hands. So, I've got to get some of those mits to keep him from scratching himself.
There was paperwork last night, and even more today. He was born at 6:28pm 10/27/2005, so the paperwork can't be signed until that same time tonight. By the time that's done, notarized and back where it needs to be, it will probably be 9 or 10pm, putting us back home around midnight.
The baby goes to the signing and we don't. That's kinda weird, and I doubt I'll get any sleep while he's gone. I'll be worried about him never coming back. And while that isn't an entirely unreasonable fear, it would be much better for my health if I could just sleep then.
But then again, all this stuff is weird. We don't go to the first two court cases either.
Well, I better get back to the room before Bonny thinks I've abandoned her to the sea of dirty diapers.
More later,
Justin

Thursday, October 27, 2005

It's a boy!!

(Justin's Mom again)

I guess most of you knew a boy was expected. He was born 6:28 p.m., 6 lbs 12 oz, 20 1/2 inches. Bonny & Justin will have more details later.

It's Getting Close!!

(I am having my mom do this post since I have no way to get online.)

At 6:00 p.m. CDT birth mother was dilated enough that they were starting to have her push.

The Time Has Come. . .

So it's 5:30 in the AM and we just got the call. They are really going to induce her this time. We're getting loaded and ready to go. Hopefully we'll be out the door soon. I don't think either of us got much sleep and I know what I did was full of strange dreams about more delays. Oh well, that baby has got to come out sooner or later. We're crossing our fingers for today. We'll keep posting as we're able.
--Bonny

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

So here's the plan

We aren't heading up there today. They don't want us to come up just to be told to go back home. So, they are going to wait until the doctor has said for sure they are going to induce her. Then they are going to call us. This will likely be at 5:30AM or so. (bleh)

Anyhow, then we'll drive up. Lets just hope her labor is more than 2 hours.

I'd be shocked if it wasn't.

So, Bonny is packing stuff for us to take. Most of it was already packed, but she's making sure. We are going to go ahead and put it in the car tonight. That way, when we get the call we can be in the car and gone in 15 minutes or so. (Bonny has to pump or it would be less than 5 minutes.)

I'll make sure I get an internet connection somewhere up there, so I can blog the snot out of this thing.

I doubt there will be a hotspot nearby, so I may have to do it at the agency.

Now I've just got to figure out a way to sleep with all this junk going on in my head.

-J

P.S. - Hey Bonny. Why don'tcha post some time, man? Hmmm? HMMMM!?!?!?

Monday, October 24, 2005

Stupid Blogger

I've posted twice now, but I can't get it to publish. It won't publish this post either.

Maybe...

Eventually...

It will catch up with itself, and ya'll will hear the news.

-J

New date...

...for all the good it does.

Anyhow, the new day is Thursday. Of course, it's all up in the air. So, who knows. We hope to find out more, later today.

Right now, I'm busy trying to figure out how I 'm going to get all my hours in by the end of Wednesday.

-J

New Date...

...for all the good it does. :)

Anyhow, Thursday is the new day. But you never know. Hopefully, we'll find out more soon.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Ther-mo-meter

Well, some have nagged that I haven't been updating my thermometer. So, I updated it. But it's kinda on hold. I'm not sure how much we will end up owing the adoption agency and how much we will end up owing the hospital.

It turns out that cash flow is going to end up being a bigger issue for a while. So, I've gone ahead and paid off some smaller credit cards and am working on junk like that.

OT: We should hear something on Monday, concerning when the next attempt will be. I say leave the bun in the oven until it's done cooking. But I don't suppose my say counts.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Postpone Pone ... I mean Post

Well, she just wasn't ready. They tried the proceedure, but she wasn't far enough along for it to work. They are going to take another look next week. Things are very variable right now. Who knows? It might be as much as three weeks.

We'll see.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Bleh, I can't concentrate

I mean...why would I be distracted. I can't think of a reason.

Anyhow, I better get focus. I have a project at work and a homework assignment for school that I have to do before I leave town.

Bonny and I are planning on heading to the adoption agency (actually, probably the hospital) around noon tomorrow.

It's crunch time.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Newish

Well, here's what I know. They are talking about inducing on Friday. But they are talking about stripping membranes on Thursday, which may throw her into labor. So, Bonny and I will probably head up on Thursday. I don’t know. We’ll see.

More news soon.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Birthmother Meeting

Well, we met with the new birthmother. Things went pretty well. She's wanting an open adoption, and all indications are that we are the ones to be picked. Again, we don't want to get our hopes up too much. We'll see ...

She might be induced as soon as next week. I'm pretty tired... I'll post more tomorrow.

Ooooooor, Bonny could post.

That'd be good.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Poor Planning

I have been thinking about questions I might ask the birthmother next week. I had gotten some pretty good ones. However, I didn't write them down.

I had forgot that I was going to have to go to school today and get my brain sucked out of my skull by the only man I have ever met with orthogonal auditory capabilities.

...

bleh

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Broken Thermometer

Well, a few people have complained that the thermometer doesn't appear to be being updated.

True, true ... but really, not much has changed. I put a couple hundred more in, but it's kinda up in the air. The costs may not be going to the agency, but rather the hospital. In which case, I can put a hold on saving money, and work on paying off debt.

I suppose I should go ahead and save up to $12,000 ... but anything past that is iffy.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

A penny saved (I'm less anal)

Perhaps it’s just the stress of mandatory overtime and midterms at the same time, but I am becoming less and less anal. In fact, when my script ran and said, hey, your budget says you have one less penny than the bank, I didn’t even try to find the error. I just mystery moneyed it and all was well.

That said, I was quite gruff with my bank recently, for little to no reason. Now, I thought I had reason. And the fact remains that they bank web site says that I have a balance on Bonny’s OMNI card, while neither I nor VISA do. But alas, Bonny was using a cancelled OMNI card rather than her valid one. That is why it wasn’t working…she should have cut the cancelled one in half…

That’s okay. Chewing them up probably helped my stress level… And there was at least one actual mistake on their part, which they have yet to correct…so I don’t feel wholly guilty.

Hmm, wholly is a weird looking word.

Anyhow, just using this email [post] to blow off some more steam and “manage” my stress. :)

Bah, I shouldn’t have any stress … but then I haven’t been meditating or exercising like I should.

I’m considering canceling my gym membership. I’m just not using it like I should. But then again, if all I do is spend that $50 bucks on going out to eat, I suppose it’s better to keep the membership and only go 4 times a month.

Gas woes

Bah, I had to spend $50.12 bucks filling up the van the other day, and I don’t even know if it actually got full, cause the pump automatically shuts off right around $50 anyhow.

Bleh…maybe I should buy a scooter…

Bonny doesn’t seem to think so.

I would always have close parking at work.

Hmph…

Email blogging

So, I noticed I was blogging into people's email boxes. So, I thought I would "repost" them here, for all to enjoy. They aren't really adoption related, but that's okay.