Pulp Non-Fiction

A testimonial; this is the first draft. I just wrote till I was done. I think the agency actually only wants like a page and a half. My faithful editor will finish it up, take out the fluff, remove some of the nerdiness. But first, here it is for you, in all it's glory. :p

We aren't going to lie to you. Adoption is a rollercoaster. And as you head towards the lower lows, you will feel your stomach drop. It will hurt. But, it’s worth it. That is what you must hold on to. And when you get to the end, you will head to a height that makes even the lowest of the lows worth it. And you won’t come down from THAT high. (Although, you may question that when they hit the terrible twos.)

We had always considered adoption a viable option. However, adoption was not on the forefront of our mind until we go the news that we would never conceive a child. That was our first low. It hurt to get that news. It hurt to have to go through tests and surgeries, to wait for results, to be told maybe time -- after time -- after time, just to finally be told no. But that low didn’t last long. We searched out several adoption agencies and settled on inheritance.

There was a flat stretch in the rollercoaster at that point. Things went on hold for a while. There were applications to be filled out, inspections to be performed, etc. We got the feeling of coasting. That made it all the more startling when we suddenly started to go up. There was a birthmother who wanted to meet with us. We met her at a Red Lobster and had a wonderful conversation. We had plenty of things to talk about. Several of our childhood stories were quite similar. We clicked. Then we started coasting again.

This time the coasting was a little less easy. We didn’t know if the birthmother was meeting with other couples. We didn’t know if we would be picked. The anticipation was culpable.

Finally, we heard ‘yes’. We went out and bought a new camera that same day. We wanted the pictures of the baby to be as perfect as possible. The anticipation welled. Finally, we got a call. The birthmother was in labor. We had already been told that she wanted us to wait to pick up the baby until the two days had passed. We didn’t get a lot of work done those two days. Our bodies were at work, but our hearts and minds were with a baby of which we had only seen cell phone pictures.

About 1pm on the second day, Justin received a call at work. It was a mere four hours before we were going to pack up and head to Wichita Falls and get a beautiful baby girl. The birthmother had left the hospital, with the baby, and hadn’t even told the agency. Can you imagine that pain? Think about that when we tell you, that wasn’t our lowest low. And remember that when we tell you how high, the greatest high is. Justin went home early that day. That is not the kind of news you tell your wife over the phone. We went to Bonny’s parent’s house for the weekend. A lot of tears were shed, but our prayer and family lifted us out of that low.

About a week later, we got a call at home. The agency wanted to know if we were ready to speak with a new birthmother. We steadied ourselves for another set of hills and valleys, and said yes.

Circumstances made it where we met with this new birth mother just a couple of weeks before she was due. The meeting went well, even better than the first one. We felt more confident that this adoption would be finalized. However, we tried to remember that it is never sure.

This birthmother wanted us at the hospital when she went into labor. She intended to be induced, so helped us sync up our schedule. After a false alarm, we got the call. She was being induced.

We packed up our stuff (car seat, baby clothes, etc.), and headed to Wichita Falls. We got there about eight in the morning. The birthmother even let Bonny come back to the delivery room a few times (including during the birth). It didn’t really feel real at that point, but soon. At six twenty-seven, there was a brand new baby boy. About an hour later, Justin was allowed to come into the delivery room too. This was so wonderful. We had never felt very good about waiting days to see the baby. We were both there getting to hold him just an hour after he was born. We were on cloud nine. Still, we had not reached our highest high, nor our lowest low.

We remained in the room while he got his shots, tests and very first bath. Then something happened that we never expected. The birthmother was ready for us to have the baby then. Justin was sent to get food for the birthmom, we escorted her to her room and then we got to go to a hospitality room with Jason. (However, we didn’t use his name at this point, still too afraid that the birthmom would change her mind, like the last one.)

That was an interesting night. We had to wake him up a few times so that he would eat as often as he needed to. It was a long night, but it was a good night. The next morning he was scheduled to get his circumcision. Afterward, the birthmother wanted some time with him. The agency counselor transported him. A few hours later Bonny and I stopped by to visit the birthmom and the baby. The birthgrandmother was going to be coming by soon and wanted some time with the baby also. So, we headed back to the hospitality room and waited. It was a lot longer than we thought it would be. We can’t lie; we worried heavily that they would not be bringing him back. But at ten thirty at night, they showed up and there were hugs all around. They checked out and headed home. A little bit later we did the same.

We weren’t allowed to go home quite yet. It had only been one day, and two days must pass before the birthmother can sign the paper work. So, we weren’t allowed to leave the city yet. We stayed in a hospitality hotel next to the hospital and spent the night there.

That was a good day. We spent nearly the whole day with him. Justin went on a Wal-Mart run and got food and supplies for the day. Justin had to hack (just a little bit) into the computer at the hospitality hotel and finally got to email some photos to our parents. The birthgrandfather wanted his turn at visiting with the baby, so we got a small diaper bag so they would be fully equipped to have him for a while.

Mid afternoon, we got a call. Justin took the call. Things were going bad. I don’t think either of us remember everything that happened then. Justin talked to the placement director. He avoided talking to Bonny. His emotions were beginning to well, and he couldn’t two conversations, that hard, at once. The birthmother wasn’t going to sign. We were beginning to panic, but she and her family agreed to meet and discuss. After things calmed down she agreed to sign. The birthgrandfather got his visit with the baby. Meanwhile, we headed to the hospitality hotel to check out. When we got back to the agency, things had again gone down hill. Our lowest low was our car seat being brought back to us holding only a slightly used diaper bag.

We drove back home. Our mothers were there waiting to see their new grandchild. It was good they were there. The baby was placed with a foster parent. We would have given anything not to have had to go to work that Monday. Then, we got a call from the agency. The birthmother had decided to keep the baby.

The next day was interminable. We couldn’t think about anything but the baby. Then we got another call. The birthmother had changed her mind again. We didn’t dare get our hopes up, but it was impossible not to. Still, we didn’t head up there until everything was signed. We definitely couldn’t take seeing the baby again, if it wasn’t to be.

It was to be. We got to the agency pretty late that night. Our mothers came with us. He was even more beautiful than ever. We were so busy fawning over him that they finally just left us to lock up. We doubled two cell phone bills that day, calling everyone. Out of minutes, roaming … we didn’t care. This was our highest high. Justin’s face muscles were sore the next morning from so much smiling. We didn’t want to get into the car, because it would mean we couldn’t hold him. As hard as it was to go to work when we thought we weren’t getting him, it was so much harder for Justin to go to work that next day. He must have been at least three hours late that day. He’s probably been at least that late every day since then. It’s hard to leave with those beautiful eyes looking back at you.

We named him Jason. He turned one month old the other day. We already had to loosen his car seat straps twice. It already seems like time is flying by. We wish we could capture every moment. But he keeps us far to busy to film everything. Some people say that adopting a child isn’t the same, because you don’t get that feeling of creating. That’s nonsense. God creates us all. The feeling that elates you is viewing that new life. Looking at that fearfully and wonderfully made little man. Watching the wide eyed wonder through which that tiny person sees everything. The feeling that you can serve that child strengthens you. We don’t understand it. Why do we feel so strongly for a child we just met? But, we do. We feel so strongly that we would do anything to protect him, to help him, to serve him, to be with him … anything.

It’s all worth it.